Thursday, January 1, 2009

past.present.future.

past.
2008 was a year full of changes. changes in my relationships. with friends. family. and most of all with myself. i learned so much about who i am and where i belong. i am Yours. and i am loved. and i am so grateful for the people and love and beauty i got to experience this year.
 verse for 2008. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

present.
same story, different day. i'm ready for this to be over now. i want nothing more than to see you full of true joy, but you insist on turning your back. i thought it would get easier. i thought i would grown more responsible with age and be able to handle this better, but honestly, all i want it to be 17. i want to be wrapped up in boys and friends. i want to be selfish and get in trouble for staying out to late. but instead, i suck it up and put you first, although my efforts seem to have no effect on your lack of smile. but i don't give up. no matter how exhausted i am. because its worth it just to see the corners of your lips turn up for just a split second. just that little bit is enough. my heart breaks for you. i wish you could know this freedom. this love. knowing you are never alone. i'm loving, and praying for you so that some day you may break the chains that are holding you back from living a full, free, spread out your wings and fly kind of life. 
Father, help me to continue to be strong & bold in your name. help her to see you in my efforts. help her to see you everywhere. i pray you soften her heart. let her feel free. let her feel love. and let her feel life for what it really is. a celebration.

future.
who knows what in store, but its all in Your hands. guide me. teach me more. let me see you in all new way. & let me serve you with each day.

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