Tuesday, October 12, 2010

season of longing.

There is just something about the fall for me that makes my heart a little bit heavier and days a little lonelier. Songs of broken hearts and distant memories seem to fit. Maybe it the cool weather’s reminder that all I have to warm me is layers of clothing and the heat in my lonely room, but whatever it is, it makes me a little blue. The fall is a season of longing for me. Longing to have someone to cuddle up next to and remind me of my beauty, a beauty that stands out even in the crowds of gorgeous women around me. I long to be desired and pursued. Long to feel like I am wanted. This longing is in every woman’s heart, but its consumed me lately. So I’m giving it up. Take my desires, Lord, and make them Your own. Let me seek You first, and know that through You all my desires are fulfilled. That You love me, You pursue me, and You think I am as beautiful as the changing fall leaves. I pray that I can rest in this and that it is enough. That instead of reaching for the world’s definition of a woman, I chase after Yours. Meet me here in my selfishness and consume me in Your love. Father, let me run after You with everything I have and find my idenity in You instead of in the men around me. Thank You that Your love washes away my dirt. Thank You that I can come as I am and that You wouldn’t have me any other way.
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