Thursday, July 23, 2009
in reading Captivating, i've been exploring my heart lately. trying to find the things that keep me from Jesus and the places where i can really see His glory. in all the exploring, i realized that i'm wounded. and while i thought these wounds were covered, i realized that i have never really let myself see the full damage they have done to my heart. instead, i have just put a bandage on top and hope that they will heal on their own. the messages these wounds carry have been a heavy burden on me and relationship with others. today, during a 4 hour plane ride full of tears and smiles, i let myself see the full effects my brokenness has had on my life. i have been living in this constant state of feeling like i'm never good enough, and no matter what i do, i never will be. that i am not worth fighting for and that no one would take the time to fight for me. in this, i felt alone. but today, Jesus told me something different. He called me His bride. His sweet crown of splendor He holds tenderly in His hands. His perfect one. Jesus reminded me that i hold all of His beauty and glory in my heart, and He wants to restore it to holy ground once again. He tells me that my wounds are not my fault, but the Dark Prince is jealously trying to destroy my heart. my Father takes up His sword against evil and FIGHTS FOR ME. He fights for my beauty? for my glory? am i really worth that? "yes. you are beloved daughter. you are worth fighting for." i praise Your name, Lord. let Your mercy rain down on me.