Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dad knows the way home.

today, i feel this beauty. the beauty of you in the rain. the closeness of you as you squeeze me tight to your heart and guide me back to the path of truth. back into the sun. back into life. help me to always see this. even when it seems like all that exists is the thunder and lightning crashing around me. help me to remember that your power can protect me from all. Thank you for rain, sun, and leading me home.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

not enough to ask for.

the things i long for seem so complex to me. seem as if they are impossible or too much to ask for. i long for happiness and love. long to be wanted. desired. enough. long to be beautiful. i continue to pray for these things. these desires. these worldly things. but this is not what you want for me. these things that seem so far out of reach for me are so easily given to me by you. this desires are weak and half-hearted. I ask that you take them. out of mind & heart. let me desire you and what you offer. complete joy instead of happiness. unconditional love instead of a love that brings disappointments. i am beautiful and enough. you desire my heart. you want to give me the best there is because i belong to you. help me to not be easily pleased. to not long for things of this world, but instead, long for you, Jesus.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

letter of love.

i received such a sweet reminder of faith today. at this point, its all i really have to keep me going. its kinda crazy and beautiful the way that our Father works his way into our lives. I love that I got a letter from one of my work crew friends the day after i felt like my world was falling apart. I am so grateful that he has a plan for this. And so grateful for the love he has for me. It is what keep me going. He truly does turn darkness into light.
"be strong & courageous. Do not be terrified; do no be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
thanks emma.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


2008 was a year full of changes. changes in my relationships. with friends. family. and most of all with myself. i learned so much about who i am and where i belong. i am Yours. and i am loved. and i am so grateful for the people and love and beauty i got to experience this year.
 verse for 2008. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

same story, different day. i'm ready for this to be over now. i want nothing more than to see you full of true joy, but you insist on turning your back. i thought it would get easier. i thought i would grown more responsible with age and be able to handle this better, but honestly, all i want it to be 17. i want to be wrapped up in boys and friends. i want to be selfish and get in trouble for staying out to late. but instead, i suck it up and put you first, although my efforts seem to have no effect on your lack of smile. but i don't give up. no matter how exhausted i am. because its worth it just to see the corners of your lips turn up for just a split second. just that little bit is enough. my heart breaks for you. i wish you could know this freedom. this love. knowing you are never alone. i'm loving, and praying for you so that some day you may break the chains that are holding you back from living a full, free, spread out your wings and fly kind of life. 
Father, help me to continue to be strong & bold in your name. help her to see you in my efforts. help her to see you everywhere. i pray you soften her heart. let her feel free. let her feel love. and let her feel life for what it really is. a celebration.

who knows what in store, but its all in Your hands. guide me. teach me more. let me see you in all new way. & let me serve you with each day.
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